I’m doing better again. At some point I just slipped and ate a shit ton of stuff. Last saturday I realised how disgusting I was. And now I’m consuming maybe 500 kcal a day again. I hope I can keep this up. I really do. And you know why?
Because of a man. Yeah, that’s right. I have this weird feeling that once I’m skinny enough he’ll finally accept the fact that we are ment to be together. And if he won’t, well, at least I am skinny.
Okay. So basically I just binged for the whole weekend. Shitloads of food. Alcohol, everything. I’m so fucking scared that I am going to fail again. I don’t want to. I promised myself that I am going to be skinny before christmas. I wish there would be more people telling me I am fat, even if they don’t really mean it. Because it gets to me.
I won’t eat anything this week. Even if it means that I’m going to have to do some extreme shit in order to prevent it from happening. I hate myself right now.
